my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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