People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Randomize