i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I smell like Dick and happiness
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
