yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
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