Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Pants are for mortals
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
