Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize