Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
