Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Randomize
