This girl is more easily done than said...
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Randomize
