the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
