I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Everyone says I win the strip club
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
