Sry I called you an 8
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
