I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
