And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
