I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Why is your signature on my underwear?
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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