nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
