i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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