Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Randomize
