the new term for farting is butt boxing.
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Randomize