In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
