He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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