if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
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