Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
