one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
