Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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