sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Randomize
