They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Randomize
