You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize
