I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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