talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
