I forgot how hot balto sounded
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
