I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
