so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Randomize
