i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
