Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
