I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
