I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
