I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
