I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
