Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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