Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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