nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
