Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Randomize
