I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
