is this the sara with the beer cane?
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
