I want to walk on stilts...naked
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
