she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
