I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize