he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
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