I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
i may or may not be watching the land before time
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize