I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
