So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
i dont even know how to be here
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Randomize