very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
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