It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
