it's too hot outside to masturbate.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
