We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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