so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Randomize