I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
my liver is dry heaving
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
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