Whod you bang
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Randomize
