Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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