Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
