Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
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