maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I enjoy the company of your penis
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
