I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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