I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
