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Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
